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Common Courtesy – 2's Company – MagnusInsights.com https://magnusinsights.com Mon, 10 Oct 2022 18:13:16 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://magnusinsights.com/wp-content/uploads/cropped-2sCompanyLogov23-32x32.jpg Common Courtesy – 2's Company – MagnusInsights.com https://magnusinsights.com 32 32 Formality Never Hurts https://magnusinsights.com/formality-never-hurts/ Mon, 10 Oct 2022 18:15:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3277 In thinking about the job candidates who failed to get out of the starting gate due to their wardrobe choices, I reflected on how formality provides a guide for “good” behavior. Being formal in addressing people with “Ms.,” “Mr.,” “Dr.,” etc. is a good starting place. It is likely you will soon be told to be less formal, but starting out informally might be like wearing shorts to a job interview, a non starter. Assessing the situation, listening to others, and being situationally aware allows one to determine what is appropriate, or not. Melissa can explain the psychological concepts related to internal/external focus further. There are many ways to evaluate a situation; checking websites and social media are good indicators. Turning on one’s listening and observational skills are a requirement. Showing respect by using formal titles, dressing formally (situationally) and being appropriately deferent are good ways to get off on the right foot in a new work situation or a situation involving a new client or customer.

]]> Know What You Don’t Know https://magnusinsights.com/know-what-you-dont-know/ Thu, 06 Oct 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3307 Many years ago, a college professor of mine told me that knowing what you don’t know (or that you don’t know something) is an important sign of intelligence. It was an enlightening discussion and I think I’ve mentioned this in another post. But, it bears further discussion because we seem to live in a world where not knowing what you don’t know is amplified by the media, including social media. Showing your ignorance is apparently not seen as undesirable to some people. I suppose many of the ignorant ones to whom I refer are too ignorant to know they are. But, stepping out on a limb and talking about things the person clearly has no knowledge of seems all too common. I’m venting a bit, but this phenomenon is apparent in many settings. It has been something I’ve seen repeatedly in both personal, and professional, encounters. In the latter, I’ve observed it when working with job applicants who do not realize they are dealing with people who know more about many subjects than they do. For me, quietly listening and learning, all the while assessing what someone is telling me what they know, is an important technique, not only for learning, but to working together. To combine a couple of sayings, going off half-cocked is a sure way to shoot oneself in the foot.

]]> Employees Should Cover Each Other https://magnusinsights.com/employees-should-cover-each-other/ Thu, 15 Sep 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3244 This is the 3rd in a series about “covering” or looking out for each other in a work environment. The need to do this is on a top down, down to top, and peer to peer basis. In the immediately prior post, I mentioned an employee who was hostile to another employee. The fact that this was happening was unknown to Melissa or me. To some degree it was known to other employees, but the full extent of it was known only to the junior most employee who was being verbally abused by a more senior employee. “Covering” for each other would have required any employee who was aware of the situation to report it. Another time we had an employee who was drinking on the job. When the intoxicated employee was eventually terminated, one employee reported to us that she was aware of the situation but thought we were trying to help the impaired person. Both situations are examples of NOT covering for each other. Being a “tattle tail” certainly has a negative connotation. Allowing bad things to happen in a workplace should outweigh that connotation. Looking out for each other is critical to “mission success.” The lesson we learned from these experiences is that it is important to discuss various scenarios with employees and explain how they should handle observations about problems among and between other employees. Ensuring that staff know what is expected of them in this regard is crucial to doing the right thing, and doing things the right way.

]]> Cover the Employee’s Back https://magnusinsights.com/cover-the-employees-back/ Thu, 08 Sep 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3242 As I wrote the prior post about the need for employees to cover the boss’ back, I had this post, and the next one, in mind, because covering for each other is critical. It is important for a boss to keep the health and well being of the employees in mind. In our 30+ years of being employers, Melissa and I have had examples of issues where this came into play. One employee had an issue with the hostility of another employee. In that instance, we were kept in the dark about the extent of the behavior by other employees (see next post). For other reasons, the “bad” employee was terminated and the truth of the hostility came out. Another example was on a research day, when a mock juror was verbally abusive and made racially derogatory comments to one of our employees. Melissa overhead these comments and immediately jumped in to help our employee by dismissing the abusive mock juror. I was quickly enlisted to escort the abuser out of the room and facility. We have always known we did the right thing by ending the abuse as quickly as possible and ensuring there was no residual impact on our team member. Another memorable occasion was when one of our employees, a black, Haitian, male, was followed by our local police department and stopped for questioning on multiple occasions while in our neighborhood. I decided the only way to “cover the employee’s back” was to approach a supervisor in our small police department about the issue. Ironically, the supervisor was a minority as well, an Asian man, who at first didn’t know how to react to the situation. But, after a bit of discussion, he helped me come up with a solution that eliminated the “harassment” of our minority employees. These are things you never learn about in business school. Things you may not consider otherwise. But, they are things that demonstrate the need to look out for employees in ways that go beyond the norms of a job.

]]> Con Mucho Gusto https://magnusinsights.com/con-mucho-gusto/ Tue, 16 Aug 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3224 David and I have written in previous posts about one of our pet peeves, replying to “thank you” with “no problem.” We always get a little miffed when someone says “no problem” because we don’t think there is a need to mention any sort of problem when someone is being thanked for doing something. I also dislike the use of “de nada” in response to “gracias.” I have been speaking Spanish (sometimes better than other times) since I was in kindergarten. As everyone who speaks Spanish is well aware, the translation of “de nada” is “of nothing.” This is if to say, in my opinion, that the thing for which someone is being thanked is no big deal, meaningless, or of little consequence. It’s a slightly smaller brush off than “no problem,” however, it is still a brush off. When David and I visited Bob (my Bob) in Costa Rica in 2010, we soon discovered that the typical response to “gracias” there is “con gusto” and in some cases, “con mucho gusto.” The Costa Ricans have got it right! “Con gusto” means “with pleasure” and “con mucho gusto” means “with much pleasure,” either of which make the person who is expressing his/her gratitude happy to have thanked someone. In addition to saying “con mucho gusto,” all of the Costa Ricans with whom I interacted had big smiles on their faces when I thanked them and they seemed to be genuinely glad to have helped me. I always bring home a little part of places I visit and I will always remember the kindness and smiles of the people I met in Costa Rica. Gracias for the lesson in gracious acceptance of thankfulness!

]]> Share The Positives https://magnusinsights.com/share-the-positives/ Thu, 21 Jul 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3208 I observed Melissa do something today that is worth comment. She complimented our clients for the professional and supportive ways they have worked with us, and as a team, to prepare for a jury research project. The clients seemed taken aback to hear a compliment, and they were surprised their behavior was noteworthy. It is just how they operate, but we recognize it as an indication of more professionalism than we sometimes observe. We had another example recently when the clients were particularly good in preparing for research. The clients’ behaviors are not the focus of this post, however; the focus is on giving positive feedback. In today’s world, there seems a much greater tendency to bring out the negatives. Fussing about bad service, fussing about uncontrollable frustrations, complaining, whether warranted or not. Maybe for the sake of good karma, pointing out the good is important. We tip based on good service, so maybe the server knows the customer was satisfied, actually happy. But, unless we take the next step and tell someone they did a good job, the satisfaction is not really communicated. Better yet, telling the supervisor of the person providing good service makes a difference and rewards, at least intrinsically, the person making the effort to do a good job. It takes a little effort to pass along a positive, but it is something I try to do whenever possible. It helps me remember the positives in a world full of challenges.

]]> Modern Communications https://magnusinsights.com/modern-communications/ Thu, 23 Jun 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3174 Writing this post in mid 2022, I want to comment on modern communications technologies. Especially due to the pandemic, the “modern” technologies of cellular telephones and virtual meetings (Zoom, etc.) have become more common in the world of business. This is for better or worse, depending on point of view. These technologies are great because they free us from the constraints of the office walls. They allow remote working (and sometime remote playing). But, with all things, there are limitations. I, personally, find it frustrating when I am talking on a cell phone and having a bad connection. I dislike having to “work” to get through a telephone call when hearing the other party is difficult. Parties often spend time trying to find a better location with more “bars.” The conversation gets hijacked by technical difficulties and subverts the real purpose of the call. Similarly, video calls frequently suffer from technical glitches. When the communications become like walkie-talkies “simplex,” instead of duplex discussions, it is a problem. I mention this because I think it is important to be cognizant of such things. Making the other party work to hear you is inconsiderate. Sometimes it is unavoidable when on the move, but if this is a repetitive problem, especially when regularly working remotely, it is time to do something. Solutions include slowing down the conversation and listening carefully to be sure the other party’s words are clear. Beyond that, consider improving wi-fi connections or using a traditional phone, even VOIP. The negative impressions created when these problems occur are far worse than spending the money to communicate clearly. Most of the time, the subject matter I’m discussing is difficult enough without technology making it more so and I try to be aware of impressions of this sort and how clients or prospects will react to communications.

]]> Zenobia https://magnusinsights.com/zenobia/ Tue, 21 Jun 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3161 Recently, a long time friend of my family’s, Woody Hanson, posted an old photo on a social media site that brought back fond memories. The photo was of Zenobia King Hill, the owner of a modeling school in my hometown of Fort Myers, Florida. Zenobia was from Alabama; she attended the famous John Robert Powers modeling school in New York City; and later moved to Fort Myers with her husband, who was a photographer for the local newspaper. At the time I met her, Zenobia was in her 60s and just as lovely and vibrant as she was in her younger days. Like many girls “back in the day,” I met Zenobia when my mother forced, prodded, and cajoled me into attending her modeling classes. (Some people call this “charm school,” but whatever it is called, I was a most unwilling attendee!) Mom evidently decided, along with the mother of one of my cousins, that I needed to learn some skills that would help me succeed in life. Zenobia figured out that I was not attending her modeling classes voluntarily and she cleverly chose to ignore my sullen attitude, instead, she took it into stride. Luckily for me, I grew quite fond of Zenobia and, over the course of the modeling classes, I became an eager student. Modeling classes were not limited to learning how to participate in fashion shows, although that was certainly a large part of what was taught. The classes were also not limited to instruction on “table manners,” although that was part of the curriculum. Instead, these classes were more about how to conduct oneself in any situation in which one might find oneself. Thanks to Zenobia, I know many things, including: (1) how to walk with grace and poise, instead of loping along like a cowboy everywhere I go; (2) how to walk up and down a flight of stairs without bobbing my head, thereby avoiding the appearance of a bouncing beach ball; (3) how to sit properly (I admit this skill is not always practiced by me!); (4) how to get into and out of a car without flashing anyone or hitting my head; (5) how to, properly, button and unbutton a blouse or coat (there is, indeed, only one proper way to do this); (6) how to manage a large quantity of plates, glasses, and flatware at a formal dinner; and much more. In the end, I actually enjoyed participating in fashion shows, many of which were part of fund raising for charities. Thanks to Zenobia, I am as comfortable in the boardroom of any Fortune 100 company filled with high level executives as I am in my own home. And, of course, thanks to Mom for ensuring I received the proper education that has allowed me to become who I am today.

]]> If You Don’t Have a Ph.D In Psychology Don’t Presume to Understand Human Nature https://magnusinsights.com/if-you-dont-have-a-ph-d-in-psychology-dont-presume-to-understand-human-nature/ Tue, 03 May 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3118 I have written about the phenomenon of people who have no education, training, or expertise in psychology who think they know as much about human behavior as I, a psychologist, know. I am frequently asked for my opinion about someone or something, only to be told, “Well, I don’t have a degree in psychology, but I do know about my Uncle Bubba’s situation and it is different than what ‘them there’ books say.” When this happens, I usually shake my head, muster a fake smile, and wish the person well, knowing he/she will never be able to understand what it means to really understand human behavior. People who believe they possess expertise in a complex subject they do not understand have succumbed to a cognitive bias known as The Dunning-Kruger Effect. The Dunning-Kruger Effect is caused by people’s failure to understand the differences between their performance and others’ performance. Most people have no means of assessing their performance on a particular task, especially a complex task that is acquired from years of study. These people truly do not know what they do not know! For example, people who do not have a Ph.D. in psychology often consider themselves to be a “good judge of character” (whatever that means), failing to consider the years of education and training we psychologists have in learning how to interpret human behavior, to the point of being able to predict what someone is likely to do or say. Many well meaning people have inadvertently insulted me by saying, “Well, that’s just common sense,” “Or I don’t have to have a doctorate in psychology to know the answer to that question,” or something similarly inane. An interesting side effect of this cognitive bias is the inability to distinguish between competence and incompetence, creating a situation wherein the incompetent person fails to recognize his/her incompetence. The end result is termed the “dual-burden,” due to the fact that the person both lacks the skill and is ignorant of this lack of skill. Word to the wise: If you don’t have a Ph.D. in psychology, don’t presume to understand human nature the way I do. And don’t second guess your neurosurgeon, ophthalmologist, or endodontist either, for that matter.

]]> Take Names https://magnusinsights.com/take-names/ Thu, 31 Mar 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3097 I’m not sure when or why I learned to “take names,” but doing so has served me well. By “taking names,” I mean making a note of the name of the person on the other end of the phone line, or maybe in person, for example, a store manager. Whether it is in the context of client contact, such as a secretary or legal assistant, or someone on a customer service call with a bank, etc., asking for and writing down the name of the person for future reference is valuable. First, it seems to me that this is a simple courtesy that is appreciated by the other party. In the client contact area, getting to know the client’s team is important and we’ve known some of these support players for as long as we’ve known the lawyers whom they are supporting! In fact, we’ve kept track of some of these folks even when they have changed law firms. Relationships formed with many support staff have been helpful long after our first interaction. With customer service professionals, live or on the phone, “capturing” their name can help resolve the problem. I think it helps personalize the interaction and, in today’s world of customer service, the professionals are trained to give their name. The customer merely needs to make a note of it so that, if follow up is required, one can relay the name of the prior agent. Many times this has helped me accomplish something that would have otherwise been more difficult. All of this seems basic and simple, but it is not second nature for everyone. I don’t think I’ve ever had an employee for whom this was automatic. I can’t figure it out. Are they afraid to ask the person’s name, especially difficult/non traditional names? Do they not think it is important? Thus, the need to train employees on this point is always necessary. It seems to take time for people to get used to doing this, but is worth the effort.

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