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Giving Back – 2's Company – MagnusInsights.com https://magnusinsights.com Thu, 04 Aug 2022 20:35:27 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://magnusinsights.com/wp-content/uploads/cropped-2sCompanyLogov23-32x32.jpg Giving Back – 2's Company – MagnusInsights.com https://magnusinsights.com 32 32 Mutual Admiration Societies https://magnusinsights.com/mutual-admiration-societies/ Tue, 09 Aug 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3222 There are relatively few people with whom I share a mutual admiration. Don’t get me wrong: I like a lot of people and there are some people who like me, but that is different than my definition of a mutual admiration society. The first person who comes to mind is the first person who used the expression, “mutual admiration society” to describe our friendship. Her name was Viola McHugh Fauss and she was David’s grandmother. “Olie,” as she was called by her grandchildren, and I formed an instant bond upon our initial meeting. Like me, she was a career woman whose work defined her life. She was no warm and fuzzy grandmother; instead, she enjoyed talking about her glory days working in downtown Atlanta. Instead of writing notes, she typed them, which always impressed me! Olie and I had great times together. She worked during a time when most women had no aspirations of a career; she worked hard; and she worked until she could no longer do so. She was my kind of woman! The next person with whom I have a mutual admiration society is, of course, Bob. (In case the reader needs a reminder, Bob was my best friend, office mate, and favorite person in graduate school. He is one of the dearest friends I have ever had. Not a day goes by that I am not thankful for “my Bob.”) Bob and I have a running debate on who, between the two of us, is smarter. I say he is and he says I am. That sums up our relationship! Two other people, one who is alive and one who is no longer with us, also come to mind in the category of mutual admiration society. They are both attorneys, clients, University of Florida law school graduates (proving, once again, how open minded I am!), and among my favorite people. One of them is Buddy Schulz, who is amazing in as many ways as it is possible to be amazing, and the other was the late Pat Geraghty, who was super cool in every way, including being a true “Parrot Head” (Jimmy Buffett fan) like me. Perhaps, if I gave this topic more thought, I would be able to come up with a longer list of people with whom I share a mutual admiration society, but the fun part of writing this post is that I gave absolutely no thought to the four people about whom I wrote. They came to mind instantly!

]]> Give Someone a Chance https://magnusinsights.com/give-someone-a-chance/ Tue, 02 Aug 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3204 John Lennon wrote a song called “Give Peace a Chance.” It is a great song and it has provided me with considerable inspiration over the years. This post is not about giving peace a chance, however. Instead, it is about giving someone a chance. Who is that someone? It could be someone who is young, inexperienced, eager to work, hungry, or just about anyone, for that matter. David and I were fortunate, in our early years of owning and operating Magnus Research Consultants, to have been given a chance by several people. Mike Corso, a prominent attorney in my hometown of Fort Myers, Florida, told David and me to feel free to use his law office if we needed anything, from conference space to a quiet place to rest between meetings. The late Pat Geraghty, also a prominent Fort Myers attorney, retained Magnus on a high profile case soon after we started Magnus and continued to hire us until his passing. Then there was Charlie Stiles. Mr. Charles Stiles was the father of one of my childhood friends, Mary. Our families were neighbors for several years during the time Mary and I were in elementary school and Mary and I were frequent playmates. When David and I founded Magnus, we went around Fort Myers “knocking on doors” for business. Mr. Stiles, as I always called him, was in an executive role at a large bank downtown. David and I went to visit him, to inform him of our new business venture and to get his ideas about who else to call upon as we ramped up our marketing efforts. Lo and behold, Mr. Stiles said he could use our help with a project the bank was planning to do. This project involved marketing research which, by then, I had been doing for 10 years. Although I had no experience conducting marketing research in banking or finance, Mr. Stiles was confident that my research skills could be easily applied to meet his bank’s requirements. Our research project was executed with flawless precision; we made a presentation of the results to the highest echelon of the bank, who seemed pleased with our work; and we were well compensated for our work. It seems that Charlie Stiles was right to place his confidence in me and my fledgling company! David and I have discussed this example of “giving someone a chance” for almost 30 years now. One never knows how much help he or she can provide to someone who needs it. Give someone a chance. And thank you, Mr. Charlie Stiles, for giving me a chance! May you rest in peace.

]]> Share The Positives https://magnusinsights.com/share-the-positives/ Thu, 21 Jul 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3208 I observed Melissa do something today that is worth comment. She complimented our clients for the professional and supportive ways they have worked with us, and as a team, to prepare for a jury research project. The clients seemed taken aback to hear a compliment, and they were surprised their behavior was noteworthy. It is just how they operate, but we recognize it as an indication of more professionalism than we sometimes observe. We had another example recently when the clients were particularly good in preparing for research. The clients’ behaviors are not the focus of this post, however; the focus is on giving positive feedback. In today’s world, there seems a much greater tendency to bring out the negatives. Fussing about bad service, fussing about uncontrollable frustrations, complaining, whether warranted or not. Maybe for the sake of good karma, pointing out the good is important. We tip based on good service, so maybe the server knows the customer was satisfied, actually happy. But, unless we take the next step and tell someone they did a good job, the satisfaction is not really communicated. Better yet, telling the supervisor of the person providing good service makes a difference and rewards, at least intrinsically, the person making the effort to do a good job. It takes a little effort to pass along a positive, but it is something I try to do whenever possible. It helps me remember the positives in a world full of challenges.

]]> An Ode to Mullet https://magnusinsights.com/an-ode-to-mullet/ Tue, 28 Jun 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3163 Recently, my friend, Button, and I were talking about our fondness for fresh fish. We discussed our shared opinion that fish is best prepared fried, not baked, smoked, grilled, blackened, or en papillote. (I enjoy eating fish that has been prepared in all these ways, but in my opinion, there is nothing quite as good as freshly caught fish that has been fried.) Button said he was going to fry some grouper a friend had caught earlier that day, prompting me to ask whether he liked mullet. His eyes opened wide and he said, “Well, I could eat mullet if I was real hungry, but I’d rather not.” Much to his surprise, I explained that mullet is my favorite fish. And, of course, fried mullet is my preferred method of eating it. Fried mullet brings back many great memories of family reunions in Wakulla County, Florida; my days in graduate school, when my cousins Venice and Asa would “fry a mess of mullet” on Saturday afternoons; and my dad, who loved mullet as much or more than I do. Button and I went on to discuss our opinions of the side dishes that must accompany a good fried fish dinner. We agreed that fried fish, whether it’s his grouper or my mullet, should be accompanied by cheese grits (real, stone ground grits, not the instant junk kind), homemade coleslaw, and hush puppies (or, as Venice used to say, dough boys). And, if we get amazingly lucky, after dinner, we would have a slice of key lime pie or a big piece of coconut cake. Now that’s a good dinner! There aren’t too many restaurants that have mullet on the menu, although The Farmers Market Restaurant in Fort Myers still serves it. I told David about my discussion with Button and pretty soon, David surprised me by buying some wonderfully tasty mullet at a fish market. That’s the way to my heart! I happily fried the mullet, we had a fabulous dinner that couldn’t be beat (to quote Arlo Guthrie), and I decided then, and there, to compose this ode to my favorite “Florida Cracker” fish.

]]> 10 Things I Love About My Job https://magnusinsights.com/10-things-i-love-about-my-job/ Tue, 22 Feb 2022 18:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3072 I love my job! I truly do! My dear friend, Bob, has called me a workaholic since we met in 1980. I am a person who really likes to work! Being bored is not for me. I decided to think about the top 10 things I like about my job as a jury/trial consultant, which I have been performing since 1989. Here they are, in no particular order:

1.  I like to help people.  When Magnus’ clients contact us, they always have a problem they cannot solve without our help.  It is rewarding to me to be trusted to help our clients on their important cases by providing them with my unique insights into human behavior and decision making.
2.  I like intellectual challenges.  The more complicated the case, the better!  I have worked on cases worth billions of dollars, involving concepts such as patents, securities, aviation (I had to learn how to fly a jumbo jet to consult on one case!), complex medical issues, construction, and more.  I have learned many amazing things and I am always ready to learn more.
3.  I like working with people who have a different perspective than I have.  I have spent my entire career with clients and other people who are not my social psychology colleagues.  I enjoy being able to provide a different view about the world than attorneys.  (I do not enjoy arguing with them, however, preferring instead to rely on my expertise to prove my points.)   
4.  I like meeting and interacting with all kinds of people. In my line of work, I interact with everyone from hotel employees, to research participants, to high powered attorneys.  For the most part, I have had positive experiences with people I encounter in the course of performing my job.  I have met some super cool people and I am always excited about the possibility of meeting someone who will, one day, be my friend.
5.  I enjoy learning new things.  As a result of my job, I know a little about a lot of things.  For example, I know more about traffic laws and other Florida statutes than most people!  I have learned how skyscrapers are built, how chemical compounds become brand name medications, and in general, a lot about life.  I am looking forward to continuing the learning process with every cases on which I consult.
 6.  I like designing surveys, collecting and analyzing data, and writing reports that summarize research findings.  I know this sounds nerdy, but I am truly a science nerd.  I was the person in the psychology department where I taught for several years who always wanted to teach research methods.  Science, and its application to the legal system, is fun!
7.  I like traveling.  Although it is not always possible for me to sightsee when I travel for my job, the experience of working in, for example, Manhattan, is an incredible one to me.  I have traveled far and wide, from Alaska to the Virgin Islands, to work as a trial consultant and I have immensely enjoyed seeing new places and returning to old favorites.
8.  I enjoy working as part of a team.  Since the beginning of my career as a jury consultant, I have worked with people who form a cohesive team.  I have made life long friendships with some of my colleagues, as well as some of Magnus’ employees (both current and former).  The team approach of many aspects of my job has been rewarding to me in ways I never imagined when I worked in more traditional workplaces.
9.  I enjoy working in a fast paced environment with things that are in constant change.  I never know exactly where I am going to be from one week to the next.  I am packed and ready to go, including ready to change plans on short notice.  I cannot imagine working in the same location, during the same hours of the day, for an entire career.  (Corporate environments are no place for people like me!)
10.  I like making a difference in the world.  Although I am not at liberty to discuss most of the cases on which I have consulted in the past 30 + years, I have been involved in ground breaking litigation that has resulted in large scale societal change.  It’s pretty cool to have played a small role in promoting positive changes in the world!

In summary, there are lots of benefits in my job that are not actual job duties. These aspects of my job have provided me with enrichment well beyond what I derive from earning a living.

]]> Helping without Realizing https://magnusinsights.com/helping-without-realizing/ Thu, 30 Dec 2021 18:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=2987 Sometimes in life people make a difference without even realizing it. Without trying to make a difference. “Leading by example” is the term often used to describe this phenomenon. Melissa was pleasantly surprised when the owner of a small hotel and conference facility “comp’d” our stay at the hotel for a non-work event. The woman, whom we’ve known for many years, did so out of appreciation to Melissa both for the business brought to the hotel/conference facility, and also for the lessons Melissa taught her, without trying and without realizing she was doing so. When we first met this woman, she was new to the hospitality industry and her inexperience showed. But, in that we worked at her facility numerous times, she learned how we wanted things to be done to help our “high and mighty” clients. Turns out that observing us work with successful and powerful attorneys, including one or two who became judges, helped her learn how to manage events for clients of other types. This particular facility has a large marina with boats worth millions of dollars floating in their slips; many of their clients are wealthy, and presumedly powerful. In any event, watching, listening, and observing Melissa helped her grow her business and she was kind enough to say so. She did that in a unique and much appreciated way. It was good to hear that Melissa, and perhaps the rest of us, made a difference in an unexpected way.

]]> Helping People Who Don’t Believe They Need Help https://magnusinsights.com/helping-people-who-dont-believe-they-need-help/ Tue, 28 Dec 2021 18:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3007 Sometimes, the people who need our help the most do not think they need any help, from anyone. These individuals may thwart our efforts to help them in various ways: (1) they try to cover up their problem(s); (2) they deny a problem exists; (3) they cancel appointments we make with medical providers or providers of psychological services, such as counseling; (4)they become angry, threatening to sever ties with us if we insist on helping; and more. Often, their denial of the problem and anger toward us, for exposing the problem, are due to their unwillingness or inability to face the reality of their situation. These negative reactions to our offers to help can be turn offs, to the point many would be helpers give up. Giving up is precisely the wrong thing to do. For example, when my late mother showed obvious (at least, to me) signs of dementia, I went to great lengths to conceal our destination on the day we went for her initial cognitive evaluation. Only when she saw the sign on the door, “Memory Center,” did she realize where we were going. She was, understandably, quite angry with me for a long time. She “acted out” in several ways, including cancelling follow up appointments I had made for her, throwing her medication in the garbage, and screaming at me. Did I give in, allowing her to rapidly decline in cognitive capacity? Of course not. I strengthened my resolve, including asking the neurologist, psychologist, and social worker to ensure their staff members confirmed Mom’s appointments with me, instead of her. I allowed Mom to scream at me to her heart’s content, never once responding in kind. When my brother, Frank, became her primary care giver, I worked closely with him to help him understand that helping Mom would not be easy. We devised several methods to work around Mom’s non compliance, such as grinding her medications in a nightly milkshake, then characterizing the milkshake as a treat she deserved for being such a wonderful mother to us. (It worked!) All of this is to illustrate the old maxim, “When there is a will, there is a way.” Sometimes, one has to move outside a comfort zone, particularly with mentally ill or cognitively impaired people, to provide help they do not believe, or understand, they need. Looking the other way is an option, but it is a poor choice when someone’s life is in our hands.

]]> Reducing the Stigma of Mental Illness https://magnusinsights.com/reducing-the-stigma-of-mental-illness/ Tue, 21 Dec 2021 18:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3004 I’m not certain why there is a stigma surrounding mental illness and those who suffer from it. Perhaps the stigma originates from social pressures to conform, that is, to act like “everyone else.” Obviously, when someone is mentally ill, he/she cannot act like everyone else, even if we wish this could happen; even if we ask nicely for the person to “just act normal”; or even if we distance ourselves from the person until he/she “snaps out of it.” Depression, anxiety, and other forms of neuroticism are common in our society. Psychoses, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, while less common than neuroticism, are prevalent in many families and often have a genetic (inherited) component. Recent estimates range from 20% to 25% of Americans who suffer from some type of diagnosable mental illness, with some people having more than one type of disorder. Whether we like it or not, mental illness is a fact of life; it is not going away. Mental illness is especially concerning as it relates to members of our military and our veterans, many of who suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and/or substance abuse disorders. Mentally ill people are present in all facets of society, from the wealthy person who has serious phobias, to the homeless person who experiences hallucinations. Recognizing the signs and symptoms of mental illness is one way we can help one another. Doing our part to assist someone who is having a crisis will go a long way in preventing suicide, homelessness, and other societal consequences of untreated mental illness. The first step in providing help to someone in need, of course, is to refrain from looking the other way, hoping it will go away, or telling the person to “get over it.” It is incumbent upon all of us to reduce the stigma of mental illness, to ensure people who are experiencing a life crisis will be able to get the help they need.

]]> Mental Illness is in Every Family https://magnusinsights.com/mental-illness-is-in-every-family/ Tue, 14 Dec 2021 18:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3002 This topic has been on my list of things to write about since 2015, but today is the day I will discuss this serious issue. The issue is mental illness. As much as many people would prefer not to talk about mental illness, it is a pervasive part of almost every family, such that we need to change our attitudes about both the illness and the people it impacts. I know more than most people about mental illness. I am a psychologist, after all. In addition, mental illness is present on both sides of my family, that is, in my mother’s side of the family and my father’s side of the family. I won’t go into personal details, but suffice it to say, I have had a lot of experience with mental illness, including suicide and substance abuse among my family members. David’s family also includes people who suffer from mental illness. Our families, like many others, usually whisper about the family members who suffer from mental illness. Statements are made about “crazy Uncle you know who,” the cousin who ruins all family gatherings with a display of rage caused by bipolar disorder, or the child who “never seemed quite right in the head.” None of these observations are helpful. In fact, many of them are harmful by promoting negative stereotypes of people with mental illness, not to mention they do nothing to help the person in need. I have long believed mental illness should be treated the same way as physical maladies, meaning that, just like when someone has a broken arm, we rush him/her to the emergency room to get help, we should rush the loved one who has a “broken brain” to the nearest treatment facility. Mental illness is a fact of life. Always has been. Always will be. There’s nothing to be ashamed about except our unwillingness to help the person who has a condition which requires our help, due to the fact that someone who suffers from any type of cognitive impairment cannot help himself/herself. Please help those who need your help. Please.

]]> Christmas with Mom https://magnusinsights.com/christmas-with-mom/ Tue, 02 Nov 2021 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=2958 Many people I know celebrate Christmas by spending their time with immediate family members, opening gifts together, and enjoying a special meal. My family used to do that, until 1972, when my beloved dad passed away. Daddy was the center of my family and without his large presence in our lives, Mom and I were adrift. We spent Christmas of 1972 at my eldest brother, Park’s, house, which made it somewhat less sad than it would have been if we had stayed home. Beginning with Christmas Day in 1973, until Mom’s age meant she could no longer keep up the pace, she and I (and later, David) spent almost all of the day visiting people who had no one else to visit them on Christmas. We began our Christmas day visits early in the morning because there were many people to visit. We usually began our day at Mom’s sister’s (my Aunt Eva) tiny apartment, where Mom reminded me to pretend I like pecan pie, admonishing me to just “pick out” all of the pecans. Aunt Eva prided herself on her pecan pie and my dislike of pecans was a secret between Mom and me. We then went to visit some dear friends, such as my “Grandpa Porter” and his wife, Maggie; another church friend, George Cope; our dear “Uncle Ed” and “Aunt Peggy,” who used to lead the Good News club in our home; the wonderful woman who sewed most of my clothes, Mary Taylor; along with a couple of my dad’s employees, such as Art Wall; and our family favorite, Frank Haynes, to whom my dad fondly referred as “Arkie” because he was from Arkansas. Times were tough for Mom and me after Daddy passed away and I think Mom wanted us both to be reminded that there were other people who, like us, had a less than merry Christmas. Although we exchanged a few gifts on Christmas, it was these visits that are far more memorable to me than anything I gave or received. I guess Mom knew the true meaning of Christmas!

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