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Partnerships – 2's Company – MagnusInsights.com https://magnusinsights.com Tue, 20 Sep 2022 13:37:55 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://magnusinsights.com/wp-content/uploads/cropped-2sCompanyLogov23-32x32.jpg Partnerships – 2's Company – MagnusInsights.com https://magnusinsights.com 32 32 You can go to Wal-Mart, Kmart… https://magnusinsights.com/you-can-go-to-wal-mart-kmart/ Tue, 20 Sep 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3269 David and I have different ways of accomplishing the same task. We are frequently engaged in debates about how to perform seemingly simple tasks. When we catch ourselves in the midst of another debate about some mind numbing chore, one of us usually says, “You can go to Walmart, Kmart (sadly, that’s no longer an option for us), Target, or wherever you want.” This statement stops the debate because it reminds us of the same type of debates David’s dad, Herman, would get into over the smallest of details. For example, when we drove from Pompano Beach to Jacksonville, Herman used to ask which way we were coming. Were we driving all the way north on I-95? Were we coming up the Turnpike, then crossing over to I-95 on State Road 70 in Fort Pierce? Were we coming up the Turnpike, then crossing over to I-95 at the Jupiter exit? Had we checked to see how traffic was moving on both the Turnpike and I-95? Had we considered taking a more scenic route, for example, driving part of the way on U.S. 1? Did we think we might want to drive up U. S. 301 through Lawtey, Waldo, and Starke? Had we considered all the options, including where we would be stopping for lunch? This type of exchange was common with Herman, regardless of the subject, sometimes to the point of hilarity! We got into the circular discussion about the virtues of Kmart and Walmart at a time when Kmart was still a worthy competitor of Walmart. Given that both of these stores sold the same type of merchandise, I usually went to the one closest to my location. Not Herman! He weighed the options, such as which one had the desired item on sale, how close each store was to the gas station currently selling gas for the lowest price, and a host of other variables, all of which were exhausting to me. Yes, there are many ways to chop a bell pepper, depending on how it will be used, but I’d prefer not to discuss it for too long!

]]> Mutual Admiration Societies https://magnusinsights.com/mutual-admiration-societies/ Tue, 09 Aug 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3222 There are relatively few people with whom I share a mutual admiration. Don’t get me wrong: I like a lot of people and there are some people who like me, but that is different than my definition of a mutual admiration society. The first person who comes to mind is the first person who used the expression, “mutual admiration society” to describe our friendship. Her name was Viola McHugh Fauss and she was David’s grandmother. “Olie,” as she was called by her grandchildren, and I formed an instant bond upon our initial meeting. Like me, she was a career woman whose work defined her life. She was no warm and fuzzy grandmother; instead, she enjoyed talking about her glory days working in downtown Atlanta. Instead of writing notes, she typed them, which always impressed me! Olie and I had great times together. She worked during a time when most women had no aspirations of a career; she worked hard; and she worked until she could no longer do so. She was my kind of woman! The next person with whom I have a mutual admiration society is, of course, Bob. (In case the reader needs a reminder, Bob was my best friend, office mate, and favorite person in graduate school. He is one of the dearest friends I have ever had. Not a day goes by that I am not thankful for “my Bob.”) Bob and I have a running debate on who, between the two of us, is smarter. I say he is and he says I am. That sums up our relationship! Two other people, one who is alive and one who is no longer with us, also come to mind in the category of mutual admiration society. They are both attorneys, clients, University of Florida law school graduates (proving, once again, how open minded I am!), and among my favorite people. One of them is Buddy Schulz, who is amazing in as many ways as it is possible to be amazing, and the other was the late Pat Geraghty, who was super cool in every way, including being a true “Parrot Head” (Jimmy Buffett fan) like me. Perhaps, if I gave this topic more thought, I would be able to come up with a longer list of people with whom I share a mutual admiration society, but the fun part of writing this post is that I gave absolutely no thought to the four people about whom I wrote. They came to mind instantly!

]]> If You Won’t Practice, Don’t Bother Learning https://magnusinsights.com/if-you-wont-practice-dont-bother-learning/ Tue, 07 Jun 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3156 As I mentioned in my previous post, “practice makes perfect,” my childhood piano teacher, Corella Johnson, insisted that all her piano and organ students practice their instrument(s) at least 30 minutes a day. The first thing she did at every lesson was ask her students to play the piece of music they were learning, so that she could discern whether we had practiced it. Students who failed to practice, or whose practicing caused no measurable improvement in their playing, were asked by Corella to find another piano teacher. It was her philosophy that the 1 hour per week that her students spent in formal instruction was meaningless absent several more hours per week fine tuning their skill set. In addition to 30 minutes of “hands on” instruction on playing songs, all of Corella’s students were required to attend 30 minute of instruction on music theory. Music theory is not a riveting topic of study, but boy do I appreciate knowing about it! My bass guitar teacher is a professional musician and he credits my piano instruction with my, in his professional opinion, above average ability to play the bass guitar. In fact, he repeatedly tells me (and tells others, when I am not present), that I could become a professional bass guitarist if only I had more time to practice every day! I have transcended my view of learning about the bass guitar from saying “I am going to practice” to “I am going to play” or sometimes, “I am going to slappa’ da bass.” After all these years, I have come to appreciate Corella’s view of music instruction. Unless someone has a Paul McCartney like talent for something, the only way one will improve one’s skill is by repeatedly performing the task. And, if one does not enjoy playing (or doing whatever it is one is trying to learn), this is s good sign that one is unsuited for this avocation and perhaps, should find something else to do.

]]> Practice Makes Perfect https://magnusinsights.com/practice-makes-perfect/ Tue, 31 May 2022 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3154 Practice makes perfect. How many times have we heard this phrase? I have heard it too many times to count! I started playing the piano when I was 6 years old. I started playing the organ when I was 11. My piano and organ teacher was a wonderful friend and neighbor, Corella Johnson, who had a strict requirement for all of her students to “practice the piano” at least 30 minutes every day. My mom, always detail oriented and organized, prepared a daily practice log, where she dutifully wrote the time my daily practice sessions began and ended. So as not to be confused over the exact time I spent practicing, Mom placed a clock on top of my piano, near the dreaded metronome, to allow her to measure my practice sessions with exactness. I was not permitted to join my friends in any after school activities, such as jumping on my trampoline, until my daily practice was finished and logged in. This routine remained in place until the last week of my formal piano training, a few weeks before I moved away from home to attend college. That’s 12 years of daily practice, 7 days a week! Did I learn how to play the piano? Absolutely! Did I ever resent practicing? Not that I can recall. In fact, practicing my musical instrument is now an ingrained part of my life. At the time of this writing, I have been playing the piano for almost 60 years and I have been playing the bass guitar for 22 years (sadly, I no longer have an organ). On every day when it is possible to do so, I either play the bass or the piano for a minimum of 30 minutes. Although I do not keep a log to record my playing time, I write on my calendar “practice” each day at 7:00 p.m. As for whether practice makes perfect, I am living proof that it, in fact, does not. Once in a while, I play a song perfectly, but more often than not, I make a few mistakes, meaning I had better keep practicing until I eventually get it right!

]]> Those little annoyances https://magnusinsights.com/those-little-annoyances/ Tue, 18 Jan 2022 18:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=3028 Someone told me long ago that he lacked the personality characteristic to be able to tolerate performing mundane tasks, including dealing with automated telephone systems; working out problems with a bank; balancing a checkbook; etc. I share this absence of the personality trait that obviously includes having patience to handle being placed on hold for long periods of time, interacting with incompetent people, and in general, being able to tolerate “those little annoyances” that are part of most people’s daily lives. Fortunately for me, David has an even keeled, pleasant personality that provides him with considerable resolve to handle most of these tasks on both his and my behalf. Earlier on the day I am writing this, I overheard David talking on the telephone in an exasperated tone of voice. Although I was unable to hear what he was saying, his tone of voice communicated to me that he was handling some type of problem with a bank, a credit card company, a utility company, or another organization that sometimes employs people with less than average intelligence. When he finished his call, I asked him if everything was okay, and he replied, “No. I was dealing with the bank.” (No offense to the bankers and former bankers who read this post, but generally speaking, dealing with banks are not for the faint of heart, at least for people like me!) David is so good at handling life’s annoyances that one of my credit card companies sent him a credit card with “OK to Handle” printed on it! I’m not kidding! Because of all the times I provided my permission to the credit card company for David to handle the latest crisis that had emerged with my account, someone evidently decided his name is “OK to Handle”! David recently asked me what I usually do when one of my phone apps fails to work as intended to control the satellite radio that is connected to a TV in our bedroom. I replied, “I ask you to help me because I can’t seem to figure it out.” Needless to say, if it weren’t for David, many things in my life would go unattended. Those little annoyances are just too much for me. I am not “OK to Handle”!

]]> Champagne on 1st https://magnusinsights.com/champagne-on-1st/ Tue, 23 Nov 2021 18:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=2969 David and I celebrate life. If we look around, there is something to celebrate every day. One event David and I have always celebrated is our anniversary. We were married on New Year’s Day, January 1. We selected January 1 because it is a holiday and, therefore, we would never have to work on our anniversary (pretty clever, if I say so myself!). Since then, we have celebrated our anniversary not only on January 1st, but on the first day of every month. Our celebrations always involve champagne. And, although we usually splurge on “the good stuff” on January 1st, our monthly celebrations involve inexpensive champagne. In addition, if we are traveling, our celebrations often involve inexpensive champagne consumed from a plastic cup. For David and me, a celebration does not have to be fancy or expensive to be meaningful. It is more important to us to commemorate our anniversary by drinking inexpensive champagne in a plastic cup in a faraway hotel room than to wait until a perfect moment comes along. And, although I love mathematics, I am not going to calculate the number of bottles of champagne we have enjoyed during our monthly celebrations. The point of this post is make the most out of every day. And, as David’s mom used to instruct us, “Have fun!”.

]]> Being Rich https://magnusinsights.com/being-rich/ Thu, 04 Nov 2021 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=2950 Two recent things prompted me to write this post. This post is mostly about the first of these, the loss of a long time friend of over 40 years named Vince. COVID cut his rich life short. The second thing was a conversation I had with another friend who is rich – financially. These things caused me to think about what it is to be rich. I know little about Vince’s bank account, but I doubt it is nearly as large as my wealthy friend’s. Mine sure isn’t. Yet, Vince’s life was rich in experiences. He was smart and driven to try many things in life. We became friends because of a shared interest in photography. As best as I can recall, we met when we were both photographing a sporting event at Jacksonville University. We worked together as photographers on some projects, including a calendar of the women of J.U., and as professional photographers for my photography mentor, Jon Peters, about whom I wrote previously. Jon hired Vince and kept him busy in the field and darkroom. In his lifetime, Vince worked as a photographer and at camera stores. He was skilled with computers and IT. He worked as a security guard, as a police officer, and later in security positions at sensitive facilities. I don’t even know everything he did work wise. He returned to school late in life, completing a master’s degree and very recently, a doctorate. His personal interests included the aforementioned photography, sports (he was an athlete – football, basketball, tennis, golf, scuba diving), speed boating, music (he was a professional bass player playing in clubs and bars for a time) and competitive shooting (pistols, rifles, shotguns), hunting with large caliber airguns, and more recently, fly fishing and tying flies. I learned also that he was an accomplished knitter and could sew – things I never imagined. He had things – custom golf clubs, special order rifles, and more. But, it seems to me that he spent whatever money he had on these things, and more importantly, on experiences. He helped his mother and was a proud father and grandfather (dressing in a large Santa suit for his grandchild’s first Christmas). His riches didn’t involve counting $$$, as far as I know, but in his experiences and enjoyment of life, including collecting friends. Vince was good at making and keeping friends – he had over 2800 friends on Facebook! Riches are not all about dollars, and how many 0s there are in one’s bank account. Those things are great, but all things considered, Vince led full of riches of a different type. He is greatly missed!

]]> Making Friends https://magnusinsights.com/making-friends/ Thu, 21 Oct 2021 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=2946 A recent email conversation with a friend, Tom, made me think about a fact of life that has some unfortunate consequences. As adults in the working world, we typically relate to each other on a single dimension, that of work. Whatever the work relationship, co-workers, client/consultant, or otherwise, our interactions are narrow in comparison to one’s entire life. I know co-workers socialize, but I’m thinking how common it is to be uni-dimensional, not multi-dimensional, in our relationships as adults. Perhaps we are too busy to take the time to get beyond the surface of that working or professional relationship. But, when we do, finding common interests is not that uncommon. As “kids” in school, relationships, play dates, and shared experiences bond many people to one another, for life. But, it seems that once past high school, college, military service, or some other tight knit situations, bonding with others is much less likely. As Tom said, “It’s nice to have connections that aren’t strictly work-related (like, for example, when I met you and Melissa). The older I get, the harder it is to make connections like that.” I agree. And I think one’s life is much richer when it is possible to get beyond those strictly work related connections. Further, I think it is the absence of seeing people as multi-dimensional that can lead to conflict. Knowing a little, or a lot, about someone with whom one works and interacts humanizes the relationship. There is more room for trust and mutual exchanges. In a uni-directional relationship, it is easier to ignore, “blow off” or otherwise interact in a rude fashion. We’ve had a few clients who seem to operate that way (and who probably have few friends) and those working relationships are unpleasant. Taking time to get to know those with whom you work, in whatever arrangement, can bring the rewards of shared humanity. Being self absorbed, well not so much!

]]> Things Back to Normal! Water Fountains, Crowded Elevators, Smiling Faces https://magnusinsights.com/things-back-to-normal-water-fountains-crowded-elevators-smiling-faces/ Tue, 12 Oct 2021 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=2939 Hooray! Hooray! I had the privilege of selecting 2 juries, for 2 different clients, in 2 different courthouses, recently. Usually, this would be nothing to write about, however, these jury selections were noteworthy due to the fact that they were the first, and second, jury selections for me since the world shut down in March of 2020 because of the pandemic. I was thrilled, absolutely thrilled, to be back in a courthouse, wearing a dark suit and high heels, carrying a briefcase, and providing help to my clients as they faced challenging lawsuits. Things almost seemed like they were back to normal. The water fountains in 1 courthouse were still turned off, but in the other one, they were working! I love water fountains! Sadly, the elevators were limited to 2 people in the first courthouse and 4 in the second, such that I did not have the experience of being stuffed inside a crowded elevator next to a sheriff’s deputy wearing a big gun on her belt. I look forward to the return of crowded elevators and the demise of social distancing. I don’t want to be socially distant; I enjoy being with people! Although both of the courthouses where I worked required face masks to be worn at all times, it was still great to see people’s smiling faces. I think the judges, attorneys, court personnel, and jurors were just as happy as I was to go someplace, to have important work to do, and to spend time with other human beings. Neither judge allowed the attorneys to approach the bench and 1 of the judges wore heavy rubber gloves while inside the courtroom, but overall, it was a welcome return to business for all of us. Keeping a trial consultant out of the courthouse is awful, particularly in my case as a person who truly loves spending time in courthouses (my dad’s office was located inside a courthouse and it always brings back fond memories when I am in a courthouse). I eagerly await the day when the elevators are crowded, all of the water fountains are dispensing cool water, and people’s smiles can be displayed again. But for now, it’s good to be back in a courthouse, any courthouse!

]]> My Three Sons https://magnusinsights.com/my-three-sons/ Tue, 07 Sep 2021 17:00:00 +0000 https://magnus.lisawhitsell.com/?p=2883 David is one of the three sons of the late Carole and Herman Fauss. David is the eldest son, followed by Dale, then many years later, Stephen. Unlike many families with whom I am familiar, David and his brothers share a harmonious existence. None of them have ever been in any kind of trouble, there is no “black sheep” in the family, and they have, to my knowledge, never had a major disagreement. Carole and Herman obviously did a great job raising their three sons, however, it often seemed to me that they didn’t fully appreciate the unusual nature of their family harmony. I frequently told both of my in-laws how fortunate they were to have such wonderful sons, with everyone getting along with each other, enjoying their time together, and sharing in each other’s lives. Now that both Carole and Herman have passed away after battling dementia, I am even more impressed by the manner with which David and his two brothers worked together on behalf of their parents during their final years. They even shared power of attorney duties for both of their incapacitated parents! And, as of this writing, they have never had any difficulties reaching an agreement on how to handle difficult decisions their parents could no longer make on their own or now, on matter related to their estates. David and his brothers divided, on an equal basis, the management and oversight of their parents’ care, with David handling medical issues, Stephen handling financial matters, including bill paying, and, until he moved out of the area, Dale being the hands on first responder to numerous emergencies. When Carole and Herman moved out of their home in the independent living area of their continuous care neighborhood, I became the care giver for all of their plants. One of these plants is a beautiful orchid with yellow blooms. So far, every time it blooms, it has three flowers, no more and no less. I always tell David these flowers represent Carole’s and Herman’s three sons. I am proud to have been a part of such a wonderful family for over three decades!

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