The last time someone correctly referred to me as “Ms.” was before 4:00 p.m. on Monday, July 9, 1984. That was a long time ago, however, many people, including family members and friends (all of whom should know better) are reluctant to address mail or otherwise refer to me as “Dr.” Although I earned a Ph.D., otherwise known as a doctorate, at approximately 4:00 p.m. on Monday, July 9, 1984, thereby earning the right to be addressed as “Dr. Pigott,” it appears that doing so is difficult for many people. Interestingly, Magnus’ clients have zero difficulty addressing me correctly. In fact, many of them refuse to call me “Melissa” even when I ask them to address me by my first name. Call me persnickety, or worse, but I greatly dislike being addressed as “Ms.,” “Mrs.,” or plain old “Melissa Pigott.” I often wonder what these people call their physician, their dentist, their animal’s veterinarian, or, if they went to college, their professors. Believe me, it’s never a good idea for anyone to attempt to take away my Ph.D. by refusing to acknowledge it! As David has mentioned in previous posts, I am often reluctant to reply to emails that begin, “Dear Ms. Pigott” because I can’t imagine that these emails are intended for me. (Another related and weird phenomenon is some people’s refusal to use my last name. It is Pigott. It is not Fauss or whatever else someone thinks it should be. I cringe every year while opening Christmas cards addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. David Fauss. There is no “Mrs. Fauss” or Mrs. Anyone at my house people!) Readers of this post might say there are worse things to be called than “Ms.” or “Mrs.” but when someone has worked long and hard to earn the title “Dr.,” I believe it is a personal affront to refuse to acknowledge this achievement. When I am asked how I prefer to be addressed, I often say “You can call me just about anything you want as long as you don’t call me ‘Ms.’”
This post reminds me of a memory from my teen years, when talking with a friend about the father of another friend who was a professor at a college in Jacksonville. He was a sociologist, and my friend said she asked him, do I call you “Mr. Key or Dr. Key?” He answered, “well, I did earn the doctorate…” And, so it was. Lesson learned from this family/church friend way before I met Melissa. I met Melissa post doctorate and have learned even more about the protocols. It can be eye opening to observe. And, while I cringe when I see a card or letter mis-addressed to Mr. and Mrs….or to her, addressed at Ms., I know it bothers her more than me. (The most unusual mis use of the title has been when mail is received to “Ms. Melissa Pigott, Ph.D.”) Even I call her Dr. or, at least, refer to her that way with clients, or prospective ones. It is the appropriate thing for those situations. I’ve also been interested to observe how sexism seems to be at play over this. The convention of calling those with a Ph.D. or M.D. “Dr.” seems more common with males. This may involve addressing the mail, or more often, encounters in a hotel lobby. The clerks often see Dr. Pigott on the reservation and, if we’re standing together, the clerk will often address me, instead of Melissa, unless they are swift enough to read the first name and realize I’m an unlikely “Melissa.” Media usage of the title also adds to the confusion. Most media are respectful and use “Dr.” appropriately, however, some use outmoded models and only use “Dr.” for those with medical degrees (even though a Ph.D is a higher academic degree than an M.D.) The Wall St. Journal is one of those and, as much as I enjoy that newspaper, I think they should modernize their usage. They might be writing about a Nobel prize winner and call him/her “Mr.” or “Ms.” while adding the person has a Ph.D. in whatever. It seems insulting to me that they take away the academic achievement in this way. It is not a matter of the duration of one’s education, earning either a Ph.D. or M.D. takes a long time. And, as Melissa pointed out, university professors are called “Dr.” without question (okay, grad school can be different). When in doubt, call a doctor “Doctor.”
Comments are closed.